Sometimes, you only have few minutes for a quickie. Then there are the times you want to have a romantic and intimate sexual experience-something that shows them just how much you care about them. You want to look into your partner’s eyes and stare into their soul. You want to start slow and progressively build until sweat is dripping everywhere and your bodies meld into one. You want to orgasm at the same time, feeling more connected to them than you ever have before.
The right sex position can help you achieve that. Odds are, you’re not going to have the most romantic sex while pounding away in doggy style or contorting your bodies for a 69 session, even though both can be a lot of fun. Instead, you want a position that lends itself to romance and intimacy. “In these positions, you have the ability to gaze in each other’s eyes, kiss, press your flesh against each other and enjoy the warmth, and feel the syncing of breath and heartbeat,” says Ian Kerner, Ph.D., LMFT, sex therapist, and author of So Tell Me About the Last Time You Had Sex. “These positions provide a sense of surrender and the loss of self as we let go from ‘me’ and move to ‘we.'”
With expert advice from Kerner, we came up with a list of 12 intimate sexual positions that will bring you and your lover closer together physically and emotionally.
“At the heart of intimate sex is the pressing of flesh against flesh and the gaze between eyes,” Kerner says. “Some lovers stare into each other’s eyes right through orgasm. The face off brings body and mind into a state of intimate merging. Take this one slow and easy right through the end.”
The coital alignment technique, often referred to as the CAT, is a variation of missionary, only in the CAT, the person on top raises themselves onto their arms with their shoulders high and back arched. (If you do yoga, this position is similar to an upward-facing dog pose.) The CAT’s focus is less on penetration and more on clitoral stimulation using the backside of your penis (or dildo).
“With its rocking back and forth, the CAT position uses rhythmic movement to help bring couples into a sexual flow state,” Kerner says. “Think pushing someone on a swing or slow dancing. As you get a slow rhythm going, let the momentum naturally build.”
“Arousal is all about the warmth generated by touch and this position enables a deep sense of emotional safety when pressed into a lover’s bosom,” Kerner says. “A great position to apply a lot of tender touch and kissing to your partner’s breasts.”
“Face-to-face and eye-to-eye-but with deep penetration and emphasis on the g-spot-this position is great for slow synchronized thrusting and can provide both partners with deep orgasms,” Kerner says. “[This position] is great for couples that want to practice simultaneous orgasms.”
In the Iron Chef, the person being penetrated rests their behind on the edge of a counter (e.g., washing machine, bathroom sink, etc.). From there, the top can grab their butt and thrust deeply.
“While carrying a bride across the threshold comes with a lifetime of responsibility, this position https://www.lonelywifehookup.org/milf-hookup allows you to carry someone across the threshold of passion, and what better way to carry someone than reclining on top of your penis?” Kerner jokes. “Again [this position allows for] deep penetration with lots of clitoral pressure. Focus on the grinding between the clitoris and the base of the shaft.”
Other times, you want to dabble in some BSDM and get kinky with your partner, incorporating sex toys, elements of bondage, role-play, and submission
“Work on your pushups before this position. It comes with some arm stress but offers a nice post-orgasm collapse into the loving embrace of your partner,” Kerner says. “What a way to come back down to Earth after reaching ecstatic heights!”
You can get into the butterfly sex position (a
“Missionary is a classic. Flesh against flesh, eye to eye, this is the position many of us associate with intense lovemaking, and for good reason! It’s great for achieving the friction necessary for an explosive orgasm,” Kerner says.
“Spooning is leisurely, loving, tender, and doting,” Kerner says. “Whether you’re big spoon or little spoon, it’s intimate to be in the protective loving embrace of a partner. And if you’re the embracer, be sure to whisper into your partner’s ear.”
“This is a great position to transition into as you’re both close to orgasm,” Kerner says. “You’ll feel the sexual tension in the muscles of her calves against your butt enhanced by deep penetration and clitoral stimulation.”
The lotus position is a little awkward in the beginning, but it’s worth it. To get into this position, the insertive partner sits with their legs crossed; the receptive partner then sits on their partner’s lap and wraps their legs behind their partner. Once there, the insertive partner can place their penis into their partner’s vagina.
“You really have access to your partner’s entire body in the Lotus position,” Megan Fleming, Ph.D., sex expert for Lovehoney previously told Men’s Health.
The biggest benefit to the Lotus “is the level of intimate connection that comes from being face-to-face,” Fleming says. “From a Tantric perspective, you have eye-gazing (i.e., staring deeply into your partner’s eyes), but you can also easily kiss your partner too.”
The full wrap offers many of the same benefits as missionary, Kerner explains. “It’s a good position to emphasize deep kissing combined with g-spot stimulation,” he says.
“This is an easy position to maintain for long periods, and it emphasizes stillness and gazing at the expanse of your partner’s body as they tremble in passion,” Kerner says. “It also provides a feeling of power as you stand over them.”
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